Alcohol Was Involved: A 19-year-old University of Colorado student required emergency assistance in March after spending all evening badgering fellow party-goers to hit him in the face. Finally, at 2 a.m., someone complied, resulting in a broken nose and massive bleeding. [Colorado Daily (Boulder), 3-18-09]
A National City Bank in downtown Pittsburgh was broken into on March 7, inadvertently, when an intoxicated man accidentally tripped and crashed through the front window (narrowly avoiding decapitation). [WPXI-TV (Pittsburgh), 3-7-09]
According to sheriff's reports, a man reported to Huntsville (Ala.) Hospital on Feb. 18 after having passed out drunk with an ex-girlfriend and waking up with a sewing needle in his urethra. [The News Courier (Athens, Ala.), 2-21-09]
I really hope the needle in the man's urethra was actually planned out to inform the man that he, in fact, has a needle dick.
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